We will never be the same

      

       

         On day three of my trip in Libertad one of the local girls at VBS came up to me and told me she recognized me. She asked if I’d been there before and I said no, so she proceeded to introduce herself to me. Her name was Jamylee Rubio and she is 11 years old.  We got to talking and made a connection right away, she seemed to really be drawn to me so we ended up spending the whole day playing together. It stayed like this throughout the week, spending most of each day together. One day, we were sitting talking and she asked me what my life was like. So I told her the basic things… family, school, friends, etc. Then I asked her the same question. And with all honesty, I can say that this girl has the hardest life story I have ever heard in my entire life. It was just one heart-wrenching thing after another. As she spoke her face filled with pain of acceptance for things that, at 11 years old, I could never even dream of experiencing in my life. I promised her I wouldn’t tell anyone some of the things she told me, so I can’t exactly share them on here…

            Just know that we talked, we cried, we hugged and held each other, and by the end of the conversation she was asking me with desperation in her eyes if there was any way she could come to the U.S. and live with me to get out of her situation in Libertad. “Can’t you help me? Can’t you please take me with you? I will do whatever it takes… I will get my visa. I will work. I will behave and be good. I won’t bother you too much I promise!” Man was this painful for me. After hearing all that she had told me, I was already in shock for a lot of reasons. Then, to respond with “I’m so sorry Jamylee, but I can’t do that“ to her desperate plea… I felt almost as trapped as she was.

            What do you do in a situation like that? How do I hold so much painful, yet confidential and incredibly serious information in my one and only brain? Can’t we just have another brain set aside, for all the painful things that we don’t want to accept…don’t want to remember… don’t want to face?

            How do I sit there, after a conversation like that, and go on with my usual ways of thinking? Thinking about such trivial things like how I couldn’t wait to be in the A/C that weekend, or how I was excited to spend my week off on the Island relaxing and having fun. I just couldn’t anymore. Here was this little girl…she’s eleven…and THIS was her life. There was no escape at the end of ten days. There was no hope for the future through a good education when she is failing all her classes because the emotional trauma she went through this year has messed up her ability to focus. And her abusive mother won’t buy her school supplies so she doesn’t even own a backpack or one notebook. There is no hope or support when not even one person believes in her, is kind to her, or tells her “it will all be okay” because they blame her for all the things that have gone wrong in their lives.

            Where is the hope when her drug-addict father is expected to die in a few months or even weeks from AIDS and her family has no money to take her to the doctor, so her eye problems are getting worse and she is slowly loosing her sight more each day? When some people in town are sick and twisted, allowing unthinkable things happen to eleven year old girls that should never, ever happen to anyone... when she is afraid, lonely, lost, and it’s not even safe to walk through her own backyard.

            Yet there she was. In front of ME. Somehow in my crazy hectic life I came from Seattle Washington to Libertad village Belize, 3,650 miles away, on the right day at the right time and by fate or the hand of God was now in the midst of a girl hanging on by a string for her life. So what do I do? What would YOU do?

             All I know is that I couldn’t live with knowing these things and not taking some sort of action. Small as it may be, at least I could try and be the one person to ever speak some love into her broken little heart. To tell her that it isn’t her fault. That she IS loved and she is important and she is beautiful inside and out. To buy her all the school supplies she’ll ever need and tell her that there is hope if she tries her best next year to be first in her class and redeem herself. That education is everything and if she succeeds now, I will find a way for her to get money to attend high school because her parents can’t pay for it and so she wasn’t even planning on going. I will write her letters, send her encouragement, and pray for her every single night that she may one day feel the childlike joy every eleven year old girl deserves to feel.

             She is just one young girl, and I am just one person. But I know that we were placed into each other’s lives for a reason. She told me that she has spent years praying every single night for help… and then we finally showed up. Maybe the whole reason God called me to be in Belize this summer is because He had this meeting planned all along. Maybe, the life of one young girl will now change forever because she finally has someone to believe in her and tell her that she CAN achieve her goals and get out of this mess…

            And maybe I will be blessed even more in return. To see the potential that we as humans have to be as strong as this girl. To open my eyes to the important things in life. And that, if we are faithful servants and we truly believe, God will answer our prayers the way he is doing so for Jamylee. Maybe not always how we expected or wanted, but He makes all things work together for our good. At the end of the week, she presented me with a gift. It was a simple piece of paper with a drawing on it of her favorite flower. On the note she wrote, “Sannon I love you. You are my best friend I ever met.”  

            This is why I am here. These are the things I want to live for. And after an encounter like mine and Jamylee’s… we will never be the same.

Thank you for reading

Love,

Shannon

Love for Libertad

Hello everybody, trip #3 is finished and I can’t wait to update ya’ll on the amazing
 ten days I've had! (All three of my groups have been from the south so far…I had to
 throw 'ya’ll' in there at some point J)

It is going to be hard for me to truly express what a difference this last week and a half
 has made on my life. I have been in Belize for over a month now (woah!) and I think it’s
 safe to say that this trip is the one that will change the way I live and what I live for, forever.
There are too many stories, personal breakthroughs, and memorable moments to fit all in one
 blog post so I am going to post more about it later, and if I you want to know more after
 reading, please ask me about my trip to Libertad when you see me next. We can get coffee,
and I could talk for hours. J

We picked up Christ Covenant Church from Tennessee from the Cancun airport on Monday, June 25^th and made the five hour bus trek back to Belize that night. Traveling went well and upon arriving at Libertad Methodist School late Monday night, we set up our air mattresses and fell right asleep, anxious for tomorrow to begin this trip. When we awoke Tuesday morning, the light of the day allowed us to get a much better understanding of our surroundings. The school we stayed in/worked at was a two story high cement building, with a big field out front for recreational purposes. There was a little church across the field that the students attend, and the surrounding village consisted of small, cinderblock or tin/wood houses with lots of pretty greenery in the middle of everything.  Libertad Village has a lot of poverty. Libertad has a LOT of need.

Christ Covenant spent five days, Tuesday-Saturday, putting on an absolutely amazing VBS for the kids.There were different stations, tons of crafts, snacks, sports camp, and stories, etc. and more children showed up for it each day. We probably had about 100 kids by the last day!    

They also did some work projects, such as tiling one of the classrooms in the school, a bit of painting, cleaning up the church, and yard work for many surrounding houses. They even got to use machetes and cut the grass just like the locals do around here, it was pretty awesome.

Other than my little two-day slip up in the beginning of the trip where I had to rest because of that infection, which is going away very slowly but surely (the joke of the week was "there's a fungus among us!" ha...ha..), I was able to return to work and had a great time for the rest of the week. There would be days where we had a few hours of free time so we would go out in groups and do home visits around the village to meet the locals. One day we passed out toothbrushes to homes in the village and they were all pretty grateful to receive them. It’s crazy how something that seems so small to me at home can mean a lot more to a family in a village struck with poverty.

So that was the basic schedule of the week, with lots of little random memories in between (like the day where it rained so hard that a bunch of the boys put on their shorts, brought their shampoo out and showered in the rain hahah).

 But it wasn’t the physical aspect of this week that left such a lasting impact on me, it was the relational. I made a lot of close relationships with people in Libertad Village and even with some of the girls in the Christ Covenant group (miss you already Lani!). These relationships I made led to a change in my heart for many different reasons. I am going to save a few of those stories for the next couple blog posts, otherwise this one would be ridiculously long and I know none of you want to strain your eyes looking at a computer screen all day. ;) I will post again this week about my stories from Libertad.

I hope everyone had a wonderful 4^th of July filled with fireworks, bbq, music, and all things American!! Kelly and I are on break now so yesterday we took a 30 min. boat ride from Caye Caulker out to Ambergris Caye to spend the day in San Pedro…probably the most lively/touristy place in Belize. It was sooooo fun and beautiful. J   

Well, be looking out for my next post because it will definitely be one worth reading. I love you all!

-Shan

P.S. Oh yeah, unbeknownst to me, apparently you have to pay a LOT to receive packages here in Belize. I just spend over 50$ US on two packages that came in for me. :/ So thank you for the sweet gestures but please only send me letters from now on (those are free to receive). Bummer I know... but thank you!

p.p.s. To all my friends and family.... I officially like pineapple now. I know, unbelievable. I feel like I've lost a part of my soul in this conversion... oh well!

The reason I have been sick

Hey everyone,

Well this trip in Libertad Village has truly been amazing so far. I have met such great people and looove the village, and have made some great friends (Belizean and American) already!  I've been up and about everyday working hard and having fun.

Unfortunately though, I have a little bit of bad news. Though I have been feeling awesome and healthy, I woke up again this morning COVERED in what i thought were more "bug bites." It was literally knee to toe completely covering my legs. I was mortified again and couldn't understand why since I had slept with 98% deet on me and with a mosquito net.

Anyways I went throughout the day after putting on Benadryl cream, but then when I was sitting inside away from all bugs with Pastor Angel talking, and I noticed my arm itched. So I looked and the "bites" were spreading onto my arm. We could watch as the bumps over time appeared one by one, so then I knew it had to be something else. :/

So Pastor Angel and I decided I should definitely get checked out by the doctor, and went back here to Orange Walk to see him. Apparently, there is some sort of fungal infection that is going around northern Belize and it turns out that I caught it. He said it was really good that I came to the doctor because at this point it would have gotten a lot worse fast if I hadn't come. Well I don't know how long I have had this for but I think it explains a lot about me being sick last week!! Anyways, he prescribed me three different medications to take and said I will be fine with the medicine.

Please continue to pray for my health! I want this nasty thing to go away... I kind of look like a monster right now. But the good news is that my spirits have been really high this week and I feel happy, not like this is defeating me or anything. I know my health is VERY important and that I need to take care of myself first. And to be clear I am definitely not being careless about it just want to make sure everyone knows that. :) I am staying in Orange Walk for the night to rest and get better again.

Thank you everyone for your prayers and support. I love you all!

<3 Shannon

White sandy beaches and turquoise waves

Great news! I am feeling 100% better after getting the rest and relaxation time I think I really needed. I am having a SO much fun here in Cancun, Mexico. we spent most of the day on the beauuutiful beach yesterday! The internet is really slow here so it only let me upload one pic.. 

The water was sooo bright turquoise. My favorite. :) i'll try to upload more pics if I can later.

Also, there was a man on the beach with a monkey and he let me hold it and it jumped on my back! And I had some good authentic Mexican food for lunch. Enchiladas Verdes con frijoles y GUACAMOLE! With carrot-orange juice as my drink. It was yummmyyy.

Well we are off to pick up our third group for trip #3 in a bit here. Can't wait, this trip is ten days at the Libertad school in Corozal. It should be a great one. Continued prayers for minimal bug bites, and good health please. Thanks so very much everyone!

Love to you all,

Shannon

Finding strength in the hardest of times

I made it through week #3! Praise God.

I wish I could spend this time writing about how smoothly and amazing this second trip went but, unfortunately, I have to be honest. This week was in some ways probably one of the hardest weeks of my life.

Our group, Christ Evangelical Presbyterian Church from Houston, Texas, arrived Sunday afternoon. A really hard working group who came with lots of motivation! They were great people.

We picked them up from the airport and headed straight for San Luis, the village we lived/worked at for the week. This is the same village that I have worked in the last two times I came to Belize in past years so it was very special for me to return again where everyone, especially the kids, remembered my name! San Luis is not even on the Belizean map yet and you cannot find it on google, it is extremely rural and sort of in the middle of nowhere, in the jungle of Belize. They do not have much of anything there. Here is what most of the homes in the village look like...

The first night we arrived, MCA church, the church we worked at for the week, held their opening/welcome service for us and it went well. They were sooo excited that we were there! Throughout the week our group did three projects. Putting in a cement floor of a home (we mixed the cement ourselves with shovels...), building the foundation for an additional room to the church, and then painting the church and the community center. It was a LOT of hard, physically demanding work. The group did a phenomenal job working so hard I was seriously impressed.

We also held VBS four days out of the week. It was so fun and the kids loved it! There was a lot of singing and dancing and just overall being silly. I got to be reunited with my lil' buddy Camillo who is the boy I am kissing in the picture on the background of this blog!! He completely remembered me and was so excited to see me again, we hung out every day. :) Look it's like deja-vu!

(Left is two years ago, right is this year!) I love my lil bud!

Anyways, overall the week went very well for the group that came down and they had a successful and rewarding trip. It seems like every one of them went home changed after being in a community SO different from their comfort of home, yet filled with the most joyful people you will ever meet.

Now on to the hard part. As you already know, Monday I got really sick and had to go back to Orange Walk for the night. Well I felt better Tuesday and returned to the village again. Tuesday afternoon, Pastor Angel, Elizabeth and I took a day trip up to Chetumal, Mexico to get our passports re stamped and to explore the town a little bit. That was really cool! We even went to the Chetumal Mall and I ate a nice steak dinner haha... random! But we returned back to Belize that night and I went to sleep still feeling decent.

Wednesday morning, I woke up feeling kinda woozy and realized that my legs were significantly itchier than the day before. When we turned on the light, me and the girls and my room were shocked to see both of my legs covered in bug bites from my thighs to my feet. We counted while putting hydrocortisone on each bite and I had 50 new bites from just that one night. :( This is what the better side of my legs looked like... trust me you don't want to see the other side!

After putting on medicine I worked lightly until lunch, not to overwork myself. But as soon as I started eating lunch I got really nauseous and was having abdominal pains, so I went back and laid down in the pastors house for the rest of the afternoon. I was soooo sick to my stomach it was miserable. This lasted for the next two days and at one point I just laid down and cried, wishing I could go back home.

But the reason I'm telling you this not so that you can all sit there and feel sorry for me. I'm telling you the hardest parts about my week because I think this experience has opened my eyes up to a lot of things I am learning about myself. Most people know that I have suffered from chronic health problems for many years. This week I realized that it is so easy for me to be strong and courageous when I am in the comfort of my own home, surrounded by people who love me, knowing that I will get through the day no matter what. But when I am in a foreign country, in a village that isn't even on the map yet, and nobody here really knows a thing about me, that's when I began to crumble. When I was laying on my little sleeping pad in the strong Belizean heat that day, sick as can be, feeling alone and crying because I just wanted to go back home...I knew I only had two options. 1) I could continue to feel like a "victim" of my own circumstance, or 2) I could pick myself up, dust myself off, and find the amazing strength that God has instilled in me all along. So I chose #2.

When I say that, it doesn't mean that I magically got better or anything. What it meant was that I realized there can be a gray area in life, not everything has to be black and white all of the time. I used to think I could either be sick and sad, or healthy and happy. But I am learning now that I can be sick and happy at the same time. I don't actually have to let my bad circumstance dictate my entire well being. Instead, my happiness depends on the way I react to that circumstance. So instead of laying there feeling sorry for myself, I instead thanked God for all that I do have and found comfort in knowing He has a plan for my life to make something beautiful come out of these hard times. I have always loved this verse, Jeremiah 29:11 - 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'


I think I am going to rest in that comfort for the remainder of this summer. Whether or not I feel good now, there are amazing things planned for my life if I continue to trust and serve. 


Thanks so much for reading. I really appreciate all your prayers and support emails/messages/comments, etc last week when I was sick. :) Tonight, we are all taking the overnight travel bus to Cancun, Mexico (don't worry it is safe!) and will be spending all day there tomorrow, sleeping in a hotel there tomorrow night then picking our next group up at the Cancun airport Monday afternoon and driving back to Belize for trip #3! This will be a ten day trip at the Libertad School in northern Belize, so I probably won't have internet for a long time. But I love you all and can't wait to update you next time, whatever that may bring! 


Have a great night,
<3 Shannon

Prayers Please

Hey everyone,


Unfortunately, the last couple days have been a bit rough. I have been feeling weird lately and had to leave the village today to go back to Orange Walk for the night because I got really sick. :( It wasn't my stomach; I had a fever and was feeling delirious and I couldn't sit up or stand up. This has been happening in small episodes this last week and we aren't sure if it is the heat, dehydration, or possibly an infection from one of my 90+ bug bites...ugh! Thankfully, there is a nurse on this weeks team and she helped me out a lot today. So now I am back at the air conditioned hotel to rest for the night and sleep in tomorrow and then depending on how I feel I might be seeing a doctor to check for infection.


Anyways, I just want to ask that you all please keep me in your prayers. I really want to give my all while I am down here and I hate being out sick. And for some reason, the first two days of this trip have been so much harder than the last one. I feel like my attitude hasn't been right and I'm not sure why... :/ but it's really bothering me. I have been feeling slightly negative about everything, I honestly think it's just because of the fevers but still. I mean these groups sacrifice a lot to come down here for the week and to serve and the least I can do is be an encouragement to them. I don't feel like I am doing that right now. I knew there might be a moment during this trip where I just feel exhausted and where the end seems so far away and I think this is that moment. I've been here for 16 days... but still have 55 left to go. It's just daunting right now.


Well I know I will definitely be okay and I know I will cheer up with some rest and relaxation. I just want to snap out of this silly little funk! I found this quote one time that reminds me of what I need to do right now:

"At the end of the day, you either focus on what's tearing you apart, or what's holding you together."

Please pray for me to focus on all the amazing things in my life that hold me together. Thank you. :)

Love,

Shannon

A week full of nothing but love

Hello everybody! I am so happy to let you know that mission trip #1 was a complete SUCCESS! I truly don’t know how to put into words how awesome this last week was… but I’ll do my best.

We picked up the North Shore Fellowship group from Chattanooga Tennessee on Sunday morning in Belize!

They were all in bright spirits; there were 14 of them. Six student boys – Luke, Rob, Gary, Stewart, Reed, and Jonathan, five student girls – Emily, Emma, Lindsey, Sarah-Beth, and Gracie. And three leaders – Patty, Ben, and Meg. What a WONDERFUL group of people!! Their ages ranged from 14-30 years. Such a lively, energetic, and hilarious group, with cute southern accents to top it all off. We were laughing probably 99% of the entire trip...I love my new friends from Tennessee.

Alta Mira Nazarene was the church we worked at in the Corozal district. We slept in a different church that was about five minutes away, but ate all of our meals and spent all of our days in the Alta Mira community. IT WAS SO GREAT. Pastor Ermilio, the pastor of the church, his wife Consuelo, and her daughters cooked all our meals for us. The food was delicious and meal times were spent at Ermilio’s house hanging out with the group and his family. The first night there we went to the opening service at Alta Mira and it was held in Spanish but I could understand most of it! We also had Angel translating for the group which was nice. They were soooo excited that we were there. Each of them came to the front and introduced themselves to us and told us why they felt so happy to have us there. Then we did the same. Some of the kids went up and performed a song with a dance to it and we all sang and danced together… so much joy in one room.

Throughout the week we had three days of work projects and VBS for the kids. We removed and replaced a new roof for the Sunday school building because it was old, worn down tin with holes everywhere so that on days when it rained they used to have to cancel Sunay school (it rains a lot in Belize and when it rains it POURS.) The new roof turned out great! We also did quite a bit of painting around the church. The kids love love loved VBS, we had an average of 55 kids come to each day! We had crafts, games, story time, sports, etc. and there was so much happiness and excitement from them…they just loved us. And we love them!

On one of the days we did a school visit and got to split up in groups of two and speak to a classroom of students for an hour. That was really cool! Emily and I got placed in the 8^th grade class so the students were 11-13 yrs. (grades are done a bit differently in Belize). We talked about our lives, life in the U.S., what we think about Belize and why we love it here, how important education is, etc.  They asked us tons of questions about all kinds of things, and then we taught them how to play heads up 7-up and played four games of it haha. We all had a great time. J

On Wednesday we went to the Lamanai Mayan ruins about three hours south for a little day excursion. They were beautiful, as always (it was my 3^rd time going there) and I saw a tarantula that came completely out of its little hole! There were lots of monkeys in the trees too and one of the monkeys peed on us hahaha. We barely made it out of the way in time :/

Tarantula! ^^^

One highlight of my week was a little girl that I absolutely fell in LOVE with. She is the granddaughter of pastor Ermilio, her name is Alleen and she’s five years old. From the second we met we had a connection and stayed together throughout the week whenever we were around each other. Such a beauuuutiful little girl with long dark eyelashes and just gorgeous. And she’s the first in her kindergarten class right now, so smart! Her mom told me she talked about me all week when I wasn’t around, and they invited me to their house so on Thursday night I went over there and hung out with her and her family for two hours. :) She gave me one of her favorite bracelets and a photograph of her, and then drew me an adorable picture of us together and wrote her name on it. I told her I’d keep them all forever! She also taught me our new handshake together, where we say “me, and you, together, forever” with the sweetest little hand movements. Ahhhhh I love that girl so much!! I already miss her tons. I've been invited to her 6^th birthday party on Augutst 10^th, so I am going to try as hard as I can to go. I must see her again before I leave this summer on the 12th!! Here's me and my sweet Alleen...

To finish off, Pastor Ermilio was beyond grateful by the time we left last night. The farewell service went so beautifully and there were a lot of tears and hugs. The people of the Alta Mira church even presented each one of us with many little handmade gifts, it was unbelievable.  It is amazing how in such a small amount of time, so many lives can be changed. The church already has new members because of us coming and all the joy the community saw from it. Just amazing!  I am truly sad to have left Alta Mira. A little piece of my heart will always be there, with the church, the community, all of the people, Alleen, and North Shore from Tennessee. I loved every minute of this week. You could say I left feeling pretty much like this:

Anyways, thanks so much  for reading!! Tomorrow we start our next trip in the village of San Luis …YAYYY. We pick up Christ Evangelical Presbyterian Church from Texas and head up to San Luis right after. I CAN’T WAIT. Then, after this trip some of the leaders and myself drive up to Cancun Mexico on an overnight bus and stay at a hotel there for another night to prepare and pick up a group that is flying to Cancun on the 25^th. We will be doing the 6 hour bus ride back into Belize from there, and starting our third trip. I’m sure I’ll be posting before that though! I’ll let you all know how trip #2 goes for sure. Mucho mucho mucho love to you all. :)

-Shannon

OH, and one more thing. Last night we had our goodbye meeting on the Caye with North Shore Fellowship. One thing their youth pastor Ben talked about really stood out to me. He asked us to draw a mental picture of the world, and place ourselves in the center. He then asked if that looked familiar. Do you see your world with yourself in the center of it? And if so, how can there be much room for other people to fit? Now, put yourself on the outside of the world you drew. Look how much space you have to fill it with others. I know that I often put myself as the center of my world. If I am not happy, comfortable, or satisfied I usually complain about it. But it shouldn’t be all about me. This summer, I want to work on stepping outside of that and knowing that my purpose is to simply love others and do what I can to put people in front of my own selfishness that I experience at times. I want to focus my life more on giving, rather than receiving.

<3